Just Too Close to Home
by RosesandThorns666
Summary: Sometimes evil is just too close to home. When Castiel can't seem to be able to have Dean touch him, the hunter knows something is seriously wrong. The truth though is so much more horrifying than Dean ever imagined. Dean/Castiel Slash. PLEASE R&R!
1. Assault

**Summary: **Sometimes evil is just too close to home. When Castiel can't seem to be able to have Dean touch him, the hunter knows something is seriously wrong. The truth though is so much more horrifying than Dean ever imagined. Dean/Castiel Slash. PLEASE R&R!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Supernatural _or its characters.

**A/N:** I got this idea on a walk today and I decided to write it. I'd love to know what you think. This is going to be angst galore with plenty of Protective!Dean and Vulnerable!Cas.

**

* * *

Just Too Close to Home **

**Chapter One: Assault **

The room was dark, and all Castiel could hear was the breathing of his attacker, the harsh sound growing louder as someone approached him from behind.

"I don't like it when Heaven's soldiers disobey." A voice said, "I really hate it, Castiel."

The voice was too familiar for Castiel to bear and he closed his eyes, feeling himself being forced to his knees as tears stung the back of his eyes. He was on all fours and the attacker grabbed the back of his neck, holding him still as fingers were clicked and a rush of cold air attacked the angel's body.

Then the pain came. Shooting, burning pain ran through the angel's body as he was entered roughly, a cry escaping his lips. He was feeling things that he didn't feel when he was with Dean. He felt pleasure, love, warmth, comfort and safety with Dean…but with the one who was hurting him right now he didn't.

"You want to sin, Castiel?" The voice asked, "You want to give in to pleasures of the flesh?"

Castiel remained silent, but tears began to fall down his face.

"Give in to this."

* * *

Dean felt something in his stomach, something which was making him feel sick. There was something wrong…not with himself, not with Sam or Bobby, but with Castiel. That must have been the bond between the handprint and Castiel's Grace that brought that feeling on, the one when the other one knew that there was something wrong.

Sam looked up at his brother with concern as the older Winchester's face began to pale.

"Dean?" Sam asked as Dean put a hand on his stomach and then his chest, "Dean, what's wrong?"

"Cas…" Dean whispered, "There's something wrong with Cas…"

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, "Dean?"

"I don't know!" Dean snapped, "I just…I can feel it, Sam…"

That's when Castiel appeared in the room, face pale and eyes bloodshot. His clothing looked neater than ever but his face looked…well…guilty.

"Dean?" He asked, "Were…were you calling me?"

Dean moved closer to the angel and noticed he tensed a little.

"Are you alright?" He asked, raising a hand to cup Castiel's cheek.

The angel shuddered beneath the touch and for the first time he felt sick, and for the first time, when Dean touched him, he just wanted to run.

"Baby…if we don't talk…" Dean began, being cut off by Castiel's gaze piercing his.

"There's nothing wrong." Castiel snapped, "I need to search for my Father. I will be in touch."

"Cas!" Dean called, the angel disappearing in a flutter of wings, "What was that about?"

"I don't know…" Sam breathed, looking at the dejected, hurt look on his brother's face.

"He never snaps at me," Dean said, sounding just like a hurt teenage girl, "He looked sick…I hope he's okay…angels shouldn't get sick should they?"

"Dean," Sam said softly, "Calm down. You're worrying and Cas is probably okay."

"He's not." Dean replied, "There's something wrong…I just…"

Sam nodded and patted Dean's back, telling him to try not to worry before heading out for food, but as usual, Dean didn't do what Sam said.

-TBC-


	2. Closed Up

**Summary: **Sometimes evil is just too close to home. When Castiel can't seem to be able to have Dean touch him, the hunter knows something is seriously wrong. The truth though is so much more horrifying than Dean ever imagined. Dean/Castiel Slash. PLEASE R&R!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Supernatural _or its characters.

**A/N: **Wow, I did _not _expect reviews already! As requested, here's chapter two. xxx

**

* * *

Just Too Close to Home **

**Chapter Two: Closed Up **

Dean sat up at the sound of fluttering wings to find his angel sat at the motel room table.

"Cas? Baby…you okay?" Dean asked, that sickening feeling returning to his stomach again, "What's wrong?

"I'm sorry I make you feel ill, Dean." Castiel whispered, Dean moving to the table and taking Castiel's hand.

The angel flinched and Dean's heart broke a little.

"Cas…please talk to me…"

"I…" Castiel began, turning away from Dean who took his hand and kept a hold of it, "Dean…please…"

"What's happened, Castiel?" Dean asked, the use of the angel's full name catching his attention.

"Nothing." Castiel lied, "Dean, please…don't look at me…don't touch me…"

"What did I do?" Dean asked his lover, terrified he'd hurt him somehow.

"I'm…tainted…"

With that he left.

"For fuck's sake…" Dean breathed, putting his head in his hands, "Why won't you talk to me?"

* * *

Castiel could still hear that voice whispering those awful things in his ear as he was abused. All he'd wanted was for Dean to save him, but Dean couldn't reach where he had been held captive.

"_You'll always be mine, Castiel." _The voice had whispered, _"You're nothing. You're a small, weak, pathetic excuse for an angel. Oh, if only Dean Winchester knew what we were up to, Castiel. My, my, my, he'd never touch you again." _

Castiel's tears and pleas hadn't stopped the assault, and the cruel whispers just made things worse. If Dean knew he'd never want him again. How could he tell Dean what had happened. The hunter wouldn't love him anymore. People hated it if their partners cheated on them.

But did Castiel actually cheat? He didn't give his permission…so that meant he'd been raped. He was dirty, tainted and stained with rape. How could Dean love someone so disgusting?

* * *

"Damnit!" Dean yelled as he hung up again, "He won't pick up, Sam! He wouldn't let me touch him even! He won't tell me anything! I don't know what to do!"

Sam stood up and grabbed his brother's shoulders, turning him so he was looking at him.

"Dean, calm down."

"I CAN'T!" Dean shouted, "I CAN'T! HOW THE FUCK CAN I CALM DOWN WHEN SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH HIM?"

For the first time in his life, Dean Winchester broke into heavy sobs on his brother, collapsing to his knees. Sam followed him to the ground and held him tight.

"Dean…Dean, he'll probably tell you in his own time." Sam assured him, "It's alright."

"It's not!" Dean sobbed, and unfortunately, he was right.

* * *

"You're mine, Castiel." The voice whispered again as Castiel was abused for the second time in three days, "You'll always be mine."

Castiel couldn't speak. If he'd told Dean, would he be here now? Would this be happening if Dean knew? Oh, of course it would, what was he thinking? Dean couldn't possibly love him if he knew what was going on.

"Let me hear you, Castiel."

The moan Castiel gave was fake, broken and full of pain.

"Always the good little soldier." The voice hissed, cold lips enveloping Castiel's unwilling ones before moving to the angel's neck, Castiel shuddering at the unpleasant sensation.

The cold lips were a contrast to the hot tongue inside the cruel mouth, the tongue that licked at Castiel's skin, teeth biting and lips moving around the angel's body. He prayed for it all to end, but his Father just wasn't listening.

-TBC-

* * *

**Poor Cas xxxx**


	3. Development

**Summary: **Sometimes evil is just too close to home. When Castiel can't seem to be able to have Dean touch him, the hunter knows something is seriously wrong. The truth though is so much more horrifying than Dean ever imagined. Dean/Castiel Slash. PLEASE R&R!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Supernatural _or its characters.

**A/N: **That's for all the support with this so far, I'm happy you're enjoying it. xxx

**

* * *

Just Too Close to Home **

**Chapter Three: Development**

Dean was still worried sick. Nothing would put his mind at ease and it didn't matter what Sam or Bobby said, he just couldn't escape the fact that Castiel had been seriously fucked up by something…or someone.

Castiel knew that he should tell Dean. Perhaps Dean wouldn't hate him…perhaps he would understand and take care of him. He could at least give him some idea of what was going on. Dean seemed worried, and Castiel didn't want Dean to worry anymore. He went to his lover as he was taking a nap, pressing a tender kiss to Dean's forehead to wake him up.

"Cas!" Dean breathed, sitting up and wrapping his arms around his angel, "Where have you been?"

"I…Dean, I…" Castiel stammered, "He's hurting me…"

Finally they were getting somewhere.

"Who?" Dean asked, taking Castiel's arms in his hand, "Who, Cas? It's okay, you can tell me."

"He's hurting me…and he tells me you won't want me if…" Castiel began, trailing off, which worried Dean even more.

"If what, baby?" Dean asked, "What happened?"

Castiel looked to his hands and tears escaped his eyes.

"He doesn't like angels who disobey," He breathed, "He knows that if you could see what happened…you would want to so much as look at me anymore…"

Dean went to wipe Castiel's tears away but the angel flinched, breaking Dean's heart.

"Cas…Cas…what happened?" He asked, one word plaguing his mind so much that it was hurting.

He couldn't believe that he was about to ask this.

"Castiel…" He said, the angel looking up at him, "Did…did someone rape you?"

Castiel broke into heavy sobs and that just confirmed it for Dean.

"Oh my God…" he breathed, pulling Castiel close, which the angel didn't expect, "Who? Who did it, Sweetheart?" He asked, "I'll fucking kill 'em!"

"Dean, please…" Castiel whispered, "I can't…I…"

With that, Castiel vanished, leaving Dean to proceed to start kicking the crap out of the motel room. Sam entered to see hear his brother yelling obscenities to Heaven and then to Hell.

"Dean, what the fuck?" Sam asked, Dean turning and giving Sam a look with tearful eyes.

"Cas…I found out what's wrong with Cas!" Dean exclaimed, putting his hands in his hair, "Oh God, Sam…how could I let it happen to him…?"

"Dean, calm down," Sam said, approaching his clearly distressed brother, "What happened?"

"Cas…he…fuck, Sam…someone raped him…" Dean sobbed, "And I didn't stop it! I didn't stop it from happening! I didn't protect him like I should have!"

"Oh my God…" Sam breathed, "No…it's not your fault, Dean! It's no-one's fault but whoever's done it."

"I'm gonna find out." Dean growled, "And I am gonna kill whichever fucker did it to him, because now he's so screwed up he won't let me touch him. What if I can't ever touch him again? What if he can't ever be kissed or held again?"

Dean was panicking now, so concerned about the damage done to his lover that he wanted to just be able to take him in his arms and hold him but he couldn't.

* * *

Castiel sat alone, crying into his knees in a cave somewhere that no-one could find. He sobbed as he thought of what to do. Dean was now hurting because of him, and for that he felt so awful it was painful.

"I'm sorry, Dean…" He whispered into the emptiness, "I'm so, so sorry…"

He curled in on himself and prayed for the pain to go away.

"Castiel."

The angel's eyes drifted closed and he began to cry again.

"No." He breathed, "No more, please!"

"Oh, I'm far from done with you." The voice said, Castiel realising there was something he could've done in the first place but was too scared to do.

He vanished and appeared beside Dean who jumped up to his angel's side. The angel was repeating one name over and over again, gripping onto Dean's shirt to try and make him understand.

"Zachariah."

Dean was so angry he could've killed someone.

"Zachariah did this to you?" He asked, Castiel nodding frantically, "I'll fucking kill him."

"Dean, please!" Castiel cried, "He's after me, please!"

Dean pulled Castiel into an embrace, shushing him and stroking his hair.

"He's not gonna hurt you anymore," He whispered, "I'm gonna put an end to it, Cas. It's gonna be alright, I swear…I swear, baby, I'll look after you."

Castiel continued to sob into Dean's shoulder and the older Winchester looked to his brother for support.

"Sammy, I want you to find a way to summon Zachariah." He said softly, "We need to get this dealt with now. No-one hurts my angel."

Sam nodded and headed out to the library while Dean sat Castiel on the bed with him, rocking him in his embrace

"I'm so sorry, Cas…I'm sorry I couldn't stop it…"

"You weren't to know…" Castiel cried, "You weren't to know, Dean."

Dean just hushed him and continued to hold him, keeping him close and promising it'd be okay.

-TBC-

* * *

**Well done, Cas! I'M PROUD OF YOU! Thanks for reading! xxxx**


	4. Safe in Your Embrace

**Summary: **Sometimes evil is just too close to home. When Castiel can't seem to be able to have Dean touch him, the hunter knows something is seriously wrong. The truth though is so much more horrifying than Dean ever imagined. Dean/Castiel Slash. PLEASE R&R!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Supernatural _or its characters.

**A/N: **So sorry for such a late update, but I got horrible writer's block with this and I've tried to work on little bits at a time. Hope you enjoy!

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

**

* * *

Just Too Close to Home **

**Chapter Four: Safe in Your Embrace**

Castiel trembled as he lay in Dean's arms, every sound making the angel jump as he feared Zachariah was coming back to attack him some more. Dean couldn't believe that son of a bitch had put his hands on his angel...had fucking _raped _his sweet, beautiful angel. He had to reassure him, to promise him that everything would be okay and that Dean was there for him. The hunter was unsure of how deep the damage was and he knew there'd be a lot of work needed to heal Castiel.

"Sweetheart, it's okay..."

"Dean..." Castiel breathed, pressing closer to his lover, "He hurt me."

"I know, baby, I know..." Dean soothed, holding Castiel to his body before pressing a loving kiss to his head.

"Dean..."

"Shhh..." Dean soothed, "It's just us. No-one else."

Castiel blinked up at Dean as tears fell from his eyes, the hunter grimacing and wiping them away. God, he hated to see Castiel crying like this. Castiel was a badass, scary warrior of the Lord, yet he'd been made to seem so weak and vulnerable by that bastard Zachariah. Dean felt sick when he thought of what that fuck had done to his angel.

"God, baby...I'm so sorry." He whispered, curling up around him and kissing his cheek, "I'm gonna hold you, and I'm not gonna let that bastard hurt you, okay? Don't be scared."

"I can't stop being afraid." Castiel whispered, "He...he told me you'd never want me again..."

"Cas, I'd never stop wanting you, okay?" Dean whispered, "I'll always want you and I'll always love you."

Castiel curled closer to Dean and shuddered, Dean looking down at him and kissing his forehead. Now the poor guy was trembling and he began to cry again, Dean wanting to just steal his pain and take it away. It was so wrong! Castiel wasn't supposed to be like this!

"I feel so dirty..." Castiel whispered, closing his eyes and sobbing, "So dirty..."

"Shhh," Dean whispered back, "C'mon...you're not dirty, Cas."

"But I feel it..." Castiel replied, "I need to feel clean."

"Okay." Dean breathed, kissing Castiel tenderly, "I've got just the thing."

They sat up and headed for the bathroom, Dean beginning to run the bath. He'd sit in the water with Castiel and let him soak his body, and he'd hold him the entire time. He was going to help his angel and he'd do everything in his power to help heal his pain. Even perhaps washing Castiel's body would help him heal.

"Cas...you okay with getting in the bathtub with me?" Dean asked, Castiel blinking for a moment before swallowing thickly.

"Naked?"

"We don't have to be." Dean replied, "We can just be in our underwear...or whatever..."

"Underwear sounds okay." Castiel said weakly, unable to have Dean look at him as he undressed or to look at Dean as he undressed.

Dean climbed into the tub first, Castiel climbing in after him and feeling nervous before resting against Dean's chest. Their bodies were bathed in the water and Dean carefully wound his arms around his angel, frightened of upsetting him or scaring him. That was the last thing that Dean wanted to do.

"Baby...? You okay?" Dean asked, Castiel turning a little and snuggling up to Dean.

"Can...can you help me get clean?" He asked, Dean thinking for a moment before scooping up some water and pouring it over Castiel's body.

He reached behind for some soap and began to lather it over Castiel's body, the angel trembling in his arms. He was so frightened, so vulnerable and so broken that Dean shed a tear himself, quickly wiping it away to stop Castiel from seeing it. The angel didn't need to see him cry.

"You feeling any cleaner yet?" He asked, Castiel nodding in response.

"H-Holy Water..." Castiel whispered, "I need to be blessed."

"Cas, you're not damned or anything..." Dean replied, Castiel gripping Dean close.

"Please..."

Dean sighed and pushed Castiel forward, climbing out of the bath and finding his vial of Holy Water. If this is what Castiel needed, then he'd be happy to provide it. He just hated to see his angel so pained. He grabbed the bottle and headed back to the bathroom, climbing into the bath to find Castiel sat with his face buried in his knees. He sighed, sitting behind him and pulling him close to his chest before opening the bottle.

"Do you want me to say anything, baby?"

"No...thank you."

Dean kissed his head softly and poured a little of the Holy Water over Castiel's body before rubbing it into his skin. He listened as Castiel recited the Lord's Prayer tearfully, soothing him as much as possible.

"My father wasn't listening, Dean." Castiel cried, "I...I prayed and prayed and prayed...but he didn't answer me."

"Oh, Cas..." Dean breathed, kissing his angel's head, "It's gonna be okay, I promise."

"W-what if Sam finds the incantation...?" Castiel asked, "I can't face..._him_ again. I can't, Dean!"

"Alright, alright..." Dean soothed, "We'll be there with you. _I'll _be there with you, and I swear to that father of yours that if he touches you, I'll kill him."

"Dean..."

"I'll kill him."

Castiel sighed shakily and pressed against Dean, the older Winchester kissing his head.

"Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Dean."

They climbed out of the bath and Dean dried Castiel's body and then his own, the two getting dressed before sharing an intimate embrace and kiss. Dean reckoned if Castiel tried to sleep, it might help him rest up and sleep some of the stress off. So he led the angel to the bed, the two laying down on it before a tender kiss was pressed to Castiel's forehead.

"You wanna try and sleep?"

"No." Castiel breathed, "Can't sleep."

The angel gasped and held onto Dean, burying his face in his shoulder.

"Dean..."

"Cas?"

"He's here!" Castiel cried, "He's here, Dean!"

-TBC-

* * *

**Another cliffy! Hope this update was worth the wait! **

**Thanks for all the support with this so far! **

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
**


End file.
